


The Less I Know The Better

by reconquer



Category: Fruits Basket, Fruits Basket (Anime 2019), Fruits Basket - Takaya Natsuki (Manga)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, First Crush, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Pining, Pre-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-18
Updated: 2020-07-18
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:07:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25363591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reconquer/pseuds/reconquer
Summary: Haru is quiet. He thinks he’d describe himself as quiet, even though sometimes he gets loud—very, very loud—but for the most part, he’s quiet.The only person he knows who is quieter than him is Yuki.
Relationships: Sohma Hatsuharu/Sohma Yuki
Comments: 14
Kudos: 130





	The Less I Know The Better

Haru is quiet. He thinks he’d describe himself as quiet, even though sometimes he gets loud—very, very loud—but for the most part, he’s quiet. He likes to think it’s because he only speaks when he has something to say, though a childhood full of being told that he’s stupid probably didn’t help. But he doesn’t like to think about that. So, he’s just quiet because it’s his nature and he wants to be.

The only person he knows who is quieter than him is Yuki. 

Yuki sits next to Akito, his brother to his left and Shigure and Hatori across from him. He’s staring blandly at his food, chopsticks abandoned on the table, while the older boys have a lively conversation over his head. Akito ignores him too, laughing along with whatever it is Shigure is gesticulating about. 

Haru is a ways down the table, sat between Rin and Momiji. Momiji and Kagura are arguing about some anime they both watch and Rin is moodily pushing her food around her plate, seemingly lost in thought. 

“Rin,” Haru says. She blinks up at him, expression unchanged. “Do you think he’s okay?”

“Who?” Rin asks, following Haru’s line of sight. “Oh, him? Why do you care?”

“Just that he’s up there by himself.”

“He’s not by himself.”

“You know what I mean,” Haru mutters. “I think I’m gonna go talk to him.”

“You don’t need my permission,” Rin grumbles, going back to her task of organizing her plate by food type—vegetable, meat, rice.

Haru takes a seat on the tatami behind Yuki, closer to the shoji screens behind the table than the table itself. He taps Yuki on the shoulder, beckoning him over. Yuki shoots a nervous glance at Akito, but his attention seems to be on Shigure tonight, so Yuki scoots away from the table to sit by Haru.

“Hi,” Haru says.

Yuki blinks. “Hi?”

“You looked bored.”

“That’s why you came over?” Yuki asks.

Haru shrugs. “Yeah. I wouldn’t want to sit up here with these old geezers by myself.”

“It’s not so bad,” Yuki says quietly.

“If you say so.” Haru absentmindedly picks at the slightly frayed fabric around the edges of the tatami mat. “What were they talking about?”

“Something about Shigure’s college,” Yuki shrugs. “I wasn’t really listening.”

“Oh.” Getting a conversation out of Yuki is proving to be harder than Haru had thought. “How come you don’t train with us? The rest of us never get to see you.”

“Since when do the rest of you care about seeing me?” Yuki’s words are zipped up, clipped with a careful indifference that Haru hadn’t expected out of a middle schooler.

Haru just shrugs. “I care.”

Yuki’s eyes narrow slightly. “But, you said…”

“Yeah, I say stupid stuff sometimes,” Haru interrupts. “Besides, I said I was sorry, right? And I changed my mind.”

A smile twitches at the edges of Yuki’s lips. Something warm flushes through Haru at that. 

“So, what do you say?” Haru asks.

“I don’t even know if I’m allowed,” Yuki answers.

“You won’t know unless you ask, right?”

“Yeah,” Yuki says. “Right.”

  
  
  


“What is _he_ doing here?” Kyo hisses. His hair is standing a little on end, teeth bared, his pupils like pinpricks. He looks as much like an animal as he can in his human form. 

“Be nice,” Kagura stage-whispers. 

“Mind your own business, Kagura,” Kyo shoots back. 

“He’s probably here to learn karate,” Haru says. 

Kyo whips around to look at Haru. “Who asked you?”

“I’m pretty sure you did, dummy,” Kagura says. 

“It was a reversible question,” Kyo huffs, crossing his arms over his chest. 

“A reversible question?” Kagura asks. “What’s that even supposed to mean?”

“It’s a question that doesn’t need an answer.”

“I’m pretty sure that’s the wrong word,” Haru points out.

Kyo sucks his teeth. “What do you know?”

Haru shrugs. “Nothing, I guess.”

Yuki’s standing over by the gate of the dojo with an older servant Haru recognizes from the main house, talking to one of the teenage teaching assistants that works for Kazuma. 

“I’m going to say hi,” Haru announces, pushing himself off the engawa. 

Kyo grunts. “Seriously?” 

Haru shrugs and nods. Kyo still has a vendetta against Yuki, but Haru is over his.

“Hi, Yuki,” Haru says as he approaches the gate.

“Hi, Hatsuharu.” Yuki bows slightly.

“So you’re gonna train with us?”

“I’d like to try,” Yuki says. His voice is soft, his words a measured distance apart. “But I don’t want to be in a class with _him_.” 

Yuki’s eyes slide over to glance at Kyo and Kagura, who are still lounging on the engawa. Kyo catches Yuki’s gaze and stares back, defiant. 

“We wouldn’t allow that boy to be in a class with you,” says the servant. “You’ll let Kazuma know, won’t you?”

“Um,” Teruki stutters. “Of course, ma’am.”

The servant nods sharply, bows to Yuki, and is off without a word.

“Nice mom you got,” Teruki quips, patting Yuki on the back.

“She’s not my mom,” Yuki answers quietly. “She’s just a servant.”

“Right.” Teruki presses his lips together. “I’m going to let Shihan know you’re here. Hatsuharu, would you mind showing Yuki where the karate gi are?”

Haru nods and leads Yuki down the path to the dojo. Kyo and Kagura have disappeared off somewhere already, which Haru is a little thankful for.

“So you decided to ask after all,” Haru says as he leads Yuki to the changing room.

“Yeah. I thought maybe it would be a good way for me to…get out of the house.”

“I guess you don’t do much of that.”

“Not really.” There’s a barely-suppressed sigh behind his words. “Is karate fun?”

“I think it’s fun,” Haru replies. “Sometimes it’s really hard, though.”

“Do you think I could do it?”

“Sure, why not?” Haru pulls out a gi that he thinks will fit Yuki along with a belt.

“I’m kind of small,” Yuki points out. “And I have asthma.” 

“I think you’ll be okay,” Haru says. He makes his way over to his locker to change into his own uniform. “You just have to pace yourself. That’s what Shihan always says.”

“Pace myself.” Yuki stares down at the uniform in his hands, his expression unreadable. For a moment Haru is afraid that he’d unknowingly pressured this boy he barely knows into doing something he doesn’t want to do, but then Yuki nods once to himself, squares his jaw, and starts changing.

  
  
  


Yuki _is_ small. Haru can wrap one arm around his entire waist. He’s not that much shorter than Haru, but his wrists look delicate, his shoulders are narrow, and his chest slopes inward, almost concave. 

Yuki hits the ground with a small _oof_ , the hard springtime dirt of Haru’s backyard barely cushioning his fall. He lays there for a moment before rolling to his feet.

“Had enough?” Haru asks. Yuki’s panting a little, but he brushes dirt off his slacks and repositions himself, feet shoulder-width apart and hands curled into his fists in front of his face.

“I’m fine,” Yuki says.

Haru crosses his arms. “You don’t want a break?”

“I need to get this. Then we can stop.” 

“If you say so.” Haru squares up, giving Yuki a little nod to allow him to make the first move.

Yuki charges, directing a punch towards Haru’s face, but Haru gets an arm around his upper chest, pushes his thigh up and against Yuki’s, and takes him down again.

“We’re done,” Haru states, plopping down on the grass next to Yuki. “You’re doing really bad.”

“Wow, thanks,” Yuki says with a roll of his eyes.

“Your form’s way off. You’re too tired to be any good.”

“I’m fine.” His voice is breathy and high, and the delicate flush high on his cheeks is starting to look a little alarming.

“Hey, Yuki,” Haru says. Yuki flicks his eyes up at Haru. “You look like a radish.” 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Yuki pushes himself to sit up, glaring weakly at Haru.

“You’re all, you know,” Haru gestures at his face. “Pink. Why are you pushing yourself so hard?”

Yuki just harumphs and pulls his knees up to his chest.

“Are you trying to catch up with us or something?” Yuki freezes almost imperceptibly, his breath stopping short and the muscles in his shoulders tightening. 

“I hate that that stupid cat is a higher level than me,” Yuki says quietly, words slightly muffled by his arms.

Haru shrugs. “He’s been studying karate for way longer than you.”

Yuki buries his face into the circle of his arms. Haru’s a little worried he’s going to cry.

“Hey, you’ll get it,” Haru says, patting Yuki’s bony shoulder. “Everyone needs practice.”

“Why are you so nice to me?” Yuki says suddenly, abruptly lifting his head to look at Haru.

“Um,” Haru says. “I don’t know. Do I need a reason?”

“Yes.”

Haru purses his lips, then shrugs. “Because I like you.”

“You can’t say things like that,” Yuki sputters.

“Why not?”

“You just can’t. No one likes me.”

“Well I just said I did.”

“But you used to hate me.”

“And now I don’t.”

Yuki huffs. “Fine.”

“Okay,” Haru says, blinking slowly. “Um. Do you want some water? Or tea? My mom could make some.”

Yuki shakes his head, then stands and delicately brushes himself off. “I have to get back to the main house. I’ll see you at the dojo tomorrow.”

“Bye,” Haru says, waving slightly from his seat on the ground.

“Bye.”

  
  
  


“He’s right,” Rin says. “No one likes him.”

“Why not?” Haru asks. Rin pushes a shiny, black strand of hair behind her ear and narrows her eyes. 

“Because he’s the _rat._ He’s a suck-up. Pay attention, Haru.”

“I pay attention,” Haru protests.

“Besides.” Rin leans back on her palms, lazily scanning the beads and small tools neatly organized on Haru’s desk. “He’s just Akito’s toy.”

Haru presses his lips together. “That’s pretty mean.”

“Whatever,” she sighs, rolling her eyes at him. “It’s what Gure-nii calls him. Why do you even hang out with him?”

Haru frowns and taps his fingernails against his mug. “Because he’s nice.”

“People are gonna take advantage of you if you keep your standards so low, you know.”

“But if I raise my standards I won’t be able to hang out with you, Rin.”

Rin smiles, and Haru knows he’s said exactly what she wants to hear.

  
  
  


Haru thinks, _I don’t think I’ve ever seen Yuki smile before_ as he watches him receive his orange belt from Kazuma. Then he thinks, _Oh. Oh._

He saw Kyo receive his blue belt a few months ago and radiate a similar joy, a quiet pride exuding from both him and Kazuma, but Haru hadn’t felt like this. He’d felt happy for his friend, but he hadn’t felt like _this_ , something that was a little too big for him to put into words. 

“Congratulations,” Haru says after the ceremony. 

“Thanks,” Yuki says. He’s not beaming the way Kyo had been, but Haru’s come to learn that where Kyo is hyper-expressive, Yuki is reserved, quiet. 

“Do you want to come over?” Haru blurts out. Yuki’s expression falters a little, and Haru’s insides burn.

“I don’t really have anything to practice,” Yuki says carefully.

“Not to practice,” Haru replies. “Just to hang out. Maybe we could play a game.”

Yuki blinks. “A game?”

“Yeah. Like a board game, or a video game.”

“A board game?” Yuki quirks his eyebrows and tilts his head to the side a little. “Who are you, my grandpa?”

“My mom says I have an old soul,” Haru smiles. 

“Yeah,” Yuki says, smiling back. “Okay.”

  
  
  


After that, Haru starts spending a lot more time with Yuki. Yuki starts coming straight to Haru’s house after school on days when they have karate and walking to the dojo with him. Haru can tell that his mother is smugly happy about their newfound friendship. 

Once summer break starts, they’re practically inseparable. Well, sort of—Yuki gets disappeared by some servant or another almost every day. Yuki always mutters some vague excuse about the main house and Akito, and then comes by the next day like nothing ever happened. 

Haru tries to ask his mother about it once, to which she just replies, “He’s the rat. I’m sure he has business to attend to.”

“What business?” Haru asks, incredulous. “He’s a kid.”

“And so are you, so maybe it’s better if you stop sticking your nose in other people’s business, right?” His mother smiles at him, taking a sip of her wine and quirking an eyebrow. 

Haru doesn’t bring it up again. He’s starting to learn that in the Sohma family, sometimes it’s better to not ask too many questions.

And then Yuki shows up to his house with a black eye.

Haru’s mother, who is seemingly always annoyed at Haru for playing the video games that she bought for him, had kicked him out of the house and told him to go play outside, so Haru just brought his GameBoy out to the engawa with him. He’s so absorbed in his game that he doesn’t notice that Yuki had let himself into the backyard until he’s a few feet away. He looks the same as he always does—shorts and an ill-fitting polo, dull gray hair framing his face in an almost feminine way—except that his right eye is swollen and bruised, blue and purple mixing spectacularly under his eye and creeping up the side of his nose and over his eyelid. 

“What happened to you?” Haru asks, the game in his hand already forgotten. 

“Nothing,” Yuki says quickly, turning his face away from Haru. 

“Seriously?” Haru stands and meets Yuki in the yard, tilting his own face so he can get a closer look at Yuki’s. It’s worse up close, and now he can see that some of the capillaries in Yuki’s eyes have burst too, dyeing the white of his eye a deep red. “When did this happen?”

“This morning,” Yuki says quietly. Then, with more force, “It’s not a big deal, Haru.”

“It’s not even lunchtime,” Haru points out. “Come inside, I’ll get you some ice.”

Haru turns heel and practically runs back into the house. It’s not that he hasn’t seen injuries like this before, it’s that he’s never seen _Yuki_ injured like this before. There are scrapes and bruises that come with learning karate, but even then, he didn’t have this fragile, scared animal look to him. Whatever happened, Haru figures that Yuki didn’t exactly have the chance to fight back. 

Haru’s so engrossed in his thoughts that he doesn’t realize that Yuki hadn’t followed him inside until he’s done filling a pack with ice. He huffs, annoyed without really knowing why, wraps the bag in a handkerchief, and goes back out. 

Yuki’s where Haru left him, staring into space, his thin fingers absentmindedly tracing the shape of the bruise over his eye. He jumps a little when Haru shuts the door behind him overly-hard. 

“I’m fine, Haru,” Yuki insists.

“It doesn’t hurt?”

Yuki just shrugs, breaking eye contact. Haru grabs Yuki’s shoulder and gently holds the ice pack up to Yuki’s face. Yuki winces away but Haru eases it back on. 

“You don’t have to do this,” Yuki says, voice quiet. 

“Obviously I do,” Haru retorts. “Since you won’t.”

Yuki relaxes a little, pushing his face a bit more into the pack in Haru’s hand.

“It feels nice,” he says, his free eye flicking up to meet Haru’s. “Thanks.”

Haru looks back at Yuki, at his delicate face and soft hair and thin shoulder covered by his own hand, and he feels like he wants to kiss him.

Haru blinks, then blinks again, bowled over by the wave of emotions crashing over him. He swallows a knot in his throat and shakes off the urge to bring his face up to Yuki’s, trying to calm his suddenly racing pulse.

“You can hold this, can’t you?” Haru asks, pushing down anything in his voice that could betray him. “My hand is getting cold.”

“Oh, yeah.” Yuki seems almost as dazed as he is. “Right. Yes.”

Haru takes his hand away from Yuki’s face and steps back. He bounces on his toes a bit, trying to shake...whatever _that_ was out of his body. He’ll deal with that later. He has more pressing issues at hand. 

“Can you tell me what happened?” Haru doesn’t like how pleading his voice sounds, and he’s uncomfortable in this role. Kyo’s the person he’d spent the most time with before meeting Yuki, and the two of them have an easy, boyish friendship. There’s no talk of feelings or needling out of information, and Haru has _definitely_ never felt the urge to kiss him. Even Rin is more forthcoming with him than Yuki is. 

Yuki closes his eyes and pouts, bottom lip sticking out slightly before he pulls it back in to chew on. “Please don’t tell anyone.”

Haru makes a zipping motion in front of his mouth and throws away the key. That gets a small laugh out of Yuki, but it’s gone as quickly as it came. He chews on his lip some more and shifts on his feet before saying, “I made Akito mad.”

“Oh,” Haru says.

Yuki sighs through his nose, his face contorted in an expression that looks like a mix of frustration and shame. “Yeah.”

“What did you say?”

“I just…” Yuki shifts his body weight back and forth. “He’s always coming into my room or summoning me, and then the whole time he just…says stuff to me…” Yuki pauses, swallowing. “I asked him why he always comes when all he does is say mean things to me.”

“And so he punched you in the face?”

“Basically.”

“Why would you say that to him?” Haru blurts out. He didn’t mean it in a mean way, really, he just can’t imagine saying something like that to Akito, but by the way Yuki’s face crumbles he can tell that Yuki took it the wrong way.

“I—I don’t know,” Yuki says, voice wobbly. “I was just mad, I guess. You’ve never been mad at Akito?”

Haru thinks. Probably yes, in his very, very private thoughts late at night, he gets mad at Akito. Not for any particular reason, just in an abstract way, but he doesn’t like the feeling that comes with it. Haru is no stranger to anger; anger bursts out of him uncontrollably sometimes, taking over his body and making him do things he regrets. But he never feels sick and wrong about it like he does when he thinks about Akito in that way. So he doesn’t think like that very often.

“I guess I have,” Haru answers. “But I wouldn’t tell him to his face.”

“So you think I shouldn’t have said anything?”

Haru shrugs. “Probably not.”

Yuki sighs, long and drawn out through his nose. 

“Hey,” Haru says awkwardly, putting his hand back on Yuki’s shoulder. “He’ll forgive you.”

“That’s not really what I’m worried about,” Yuki mutters. 

“Okay.” Haru doesn’t know what to say. This conversation has taken a dive into territory that Haru isn’t sure he’s ready for yet. He can also tell that there’s more that Yuki isn’t saying, and he doesn’t feel right asking. 

So far, Haru has been able to shove the zodiac aspect of his life to the back of his mind. He’s not high-ranking like Yuki, so Akito rarely calls for him, and it’s not like he’s not Kyo, either. He goes to an all-boy’s school and the only girls he interacts with regularly are the female zodiacs and his mother. He used to be a lot worse, when he was younger, but getting over his hatred of the rat made the whole situation easier to ignore.

But the rat is supposed to be closest to God. Haru remembers hushed conversations between his mother and father about how Yuki’s parents practically sold him to Akito. He’s not even treated like the other kids by the family’s staff; the more time Haru spends with Yuki, the more he notices how formally the servants speak to him, bowing at the waist to him like he’s an adult. The curse invades every corner of Yuki’s life. 

“Hey,” Haru says. “Wanna go get some ice cream?”

“What?” Yuki asks, bewildered.

“I haven’t spent all my allowance yet this week. Wanna sneak out of the estate and get some at the truck by the JR station?”

Yuki huffs a small laugh, incredulous. “How does your brain even work?”

“Is that a no?”

“Sure.” Yuki laughs for real this time, taking the pack off his eye for a second so he can smile properly. “Let’s go.” 

Haru smiles back and keeps his fidgeting hands to himself. 

  
  
  


The closer they get to the new term, the less Haru sees Yuki. He still goes to all his karate lessons, and is advancing faster than Haru thought he was capable of. But afterwards, he gets summoned straight to the main house, and Haru’s started getting used to seeing him in bits and pieces. 

“Am I gonna see you once school starts?” Haru asks one day. It’s early, but the sun is already starting to burn off the morning dew. The wood of the engawa is wet with condensation and it’s seeping into Haru’s shorts. 

“What do you mean?” Yuki asks. He’s fiddling with this...Haru’s not sure what it is, actually. It’s bright and small and shaped like a slice of watermelon and Yuki is turning it over and over in his hands, squeezing it absentmindedly. 

“Feel like you’ve been called to the main house a lot lately.”

Yuki hums. “I guess so.”

“Why?”

“Akito’s just being clingy.” 

Haru raises an eyebrow. “That’s it?”

“Pretty much.” He pulls at the toy so it stretches, cracking the cheap plastic coating for a moment.

“What is that?” Haru finally asks.

“Huh? Oh.” Yuki looks down at the toy in his hands. “It’s a stress ball. Kunimitsu gave it to me.”

“Are you stressed right now?” Haru laughs a little, but his smile fades when Yuki gives him a noncommittal shrug. “What? What’s wrong?”

“You don’t have to be so worried about me,” Yuki says. Haru has no idea how Yuki has such a talent for sounding sad and snotty at the same time.

“You’re making it too easy.”

“I’ll be fine, Haru.” Yuki stares straight ahead. Haru studies his face, but Yuki is hard to read. He hides a lot. “It’s always been like this between Akito and me.”

Haru looks at Yuki, shoving down a knot of his own anxiety, and nods.

  
  
  


The new term starts a week later. Haru’s mom makes a big deal out of it for no reason, as usual. Between being dragged around too-crowded malls for back-to-school shopping and re-adjusting to school, two more weeks go by without Haru really noticing. He hasn’t been to the dojo since before school started, so Kyo drags him there after school a few days into term, accusing him of slacking off. 

“Athletes need a little rest sometimes, you know,” Haru says, half-heartedly wrestling out of the chokehold Kyo has him in as he drags him down the street leading to the dojo. 

“Some balls to call yourself an _athlete,_ ” Kyo snaps. 

“I’m very athletic.”

“Keep telling yourself that,” Kyo says, letting Haru go and pushing open the dojo’s gate. “But don’t whine to me when you’re flat on your ass after today’s lesson.”

“Okay, oka—” Haru walks directly into Kyo, forcing him to stop short and take a few stumbling steps back. Yuki’s standing in front of them, maybe ten feet away, absorbed in the flip phone in his hand. Haru can literally feel Kyo seething next to him.

“What are _you_ doing here?” Kyo growls. Yuki looks up from his phone, expression carefully neutral. 

“Shihan has other students, stupid cat,” he answers, closing the phone with an audible _clack_ and slipping it into the pocket of his slacks. 

“I ain’t _stupid,_ ” Kyo shouts through gritted teeth, closing the gap between the two of them and shoving Yuki backwards.

Yuki takes two steps back, one step forward, and punches Kyo in the face.

Haru’s surrounded by kids instantly. The other boys are drawn to fights like moths to a flame, and a fist fight between Kazuma’s son and one of the highest ranking members of the Sohma family is no exception. He’s being jostled on all sides by the boys in his class, the group forming a circle around the two. They’re both on the ground now, Yuki on top, hitting and scratching each other in a way that would get them kicked off the mat if this were a real sparring session. 

The boys’ cheering and whooping draws the attention of the adults before too long. All Haru can do is watch as Kazuma and Kunimitsu drag the two away from each other, Kyo still kicking and screaming in Kazuma’s arms, Yuki deadly calm in Kunimitsu’s. 

“Fun’s over,” Kazuma announces, the command in his voice quieting the crowd quickly. “Go inside and start warm-ups. Now! And you,” Kazuma turns to Kyo, voice low. “You’re in trouble.”

The crowd groans and disperses, leaving Haru to stand alone, frozen where he was when the fight started. He feels stunned and confused. He knew Yuki and Kyo hated each other, but he’s not sure he’s ever seen them actually interact. Have they gotten into fights before? How did Haru never notice that Yuki had a hair-trigger? Was it just with Kyo?

“Hatsuharu.” Kunimitsu’s voice snaps Haru out of his thoughts. Kazuma is already dragging Kyo away and Kunimitsu has gotten Yuki to his feet. There’s a bright scrape on one of his cheekbones and his sports jacket is filthy, but otherwise he looks fine. “That means you. Warm-ups, now.”

“Yes, sir,” Haru says quickly. He bows, desperately trying to make eye contact with Yuki, but his face is turned away, stubbornly staring at the nothing to his left. Knowing a lost cause when he sees one, Haru whispers a small, “Bye,” as he passes Yuki before running towards the dojo.

  
  
  


Yuki gets worse after that. He’s still coming to the dojo, but it’s the only place Haru sees him. He seems sullen and their conversations are starting to become halted and one-sided. He gets in a fight with Kyo every time they cross paths, to the point where Kazuma tells Kyo he’s not allowed to talk to Yuki. It doesn’t stop brawls from breaking out in the yard on a weekly basis, though.

It’s the first cool day of the fall when Haru decides to do what he needs to do: corner Yuki and make him talk. 

He finds Yuki in the showers. The others are gone, but Haru knows that Yuki always takes forever. 

“Hey,” Haru says, sidling up next to Yuki in the communal stall. 

“Jesus,” Yuki jumps, flinching away from Haru. 

“Sorry. Did I scare you?”

“I didn’t hear you come in,” he says quietly. 

“Oh.” Haru shifts uncomfortably—he’d had a plan, but he hadn’t really thought further than this step. He turns his showerhead on, remembering he’s here under a guise. “How are you?”

Yuki eyes him suspiciously. “Fine.”

“Where have you been?”

“At the main house.”

“With Akito?”

Yuki nods. 

“What do you…do?” Haru asks. “With Akito.”

Yuki shrugs. “Talk. Well, he talks to me and I listen.”

“What does he say?” Yuki doesn’t answer, just stares resolutely at the tile in front of him. “Is he still hurting you?”

“What if he is?” Yuki snaps. “It’s not like there’s anything you can do about it.”

Haru’s stomach clenches uncomfortably. Yuki’s right; Akito does whatever he wants and the others are powerless to stop him. His mind flips through the catalogue of awful shit Akito’s said to him throughout his life—that he’s stupid or dull, that can’t make his own decisions, that he’s a gullible fool who is easily manipulated. His meetings with Akito have always been tinged with this weird mix of desperation and dread. Haru doesn’t know how Yuki can stand to spend so much time with him.

“Yuki.” Haru turns off his showerhead. He hadn’t even pretended to actually shower. “Whatever he’s saying to you, it’s not true.”

Yuki looks up at him. Water clings to his eyelashes and his cheeks look hollow in the fluorescent lighting of the shower room. He looks fragile and pretty and sad and Haru wants to press their lips together.

“Haru.” Yuki twists his own showerhead off, leaving the two of them in echoey silence. “I’m fine.”

With that, Yuki grabs his towel and storms out, leaving Haru alone and feeling empty.

  
  
  


He finds the room by accident. 

The late night air smells like fallen leaves and impending rain. Rin had pilfered a can of beer from somewhere and they’d shared it, snickering between sips in an alley somewhere in the estate. Rin claimed to have known a spot, but as far as Haru can tell, she took them someplace random. 

Half a beer isn’t nearly enough alcohol to do anything, even Haru knows that, but the adrenaline of the whole ordeal gets to both of them. Feeling rebellious, they wander around the estate, talking in hushed tones and ducking out of view of rogue adults. 

It’s not until they turn a corner and are faced with a familiar window that they realize where they are. The main house stands imposing in front of them, but it’s late enough that all the lights are off. Despite that, Haru can hear a voice coming from one of the rooms, a smallish one near them that looks like it might’ve been added on after the original structure was built. 

“Do you hear that?” Haru whispers to Rin. She nods. “Who’s room is that?”

“I don’t know and I don’t care,” Rin whispers back harshly. “Let’s get out of here before someone catches us.”

“But why is someone talking in the dark?” Haru starts sneaking towards the room, treading as lightly as he can on crunchy leaves.

“Who gives a shit?” Rin creeps after him. “It’s probably just the TV.”

“I…I think it’s Akito.”

Rin freezes. “Then let’s _leave._ ”

Haru keeps going. He doesn’t know why. He feels strangely calm despite his racing pulse, like this whole thing is happening to someone else. Rin isn’t following him anymore, but it doesn’t matter. He has to know who Akito is talking to.

When Haru gets to the edge of the window, he squats, back pressed against the wall next to it. Akito’s voice is clear now, low and melodious, but he can barely make out the words over the blood pumping in his ears. He carefully, slowly peers around the edge of the window into the room.

The lights are off, but Haru’s vision is already adjusted to the darkness outside. It’s spare, just traditional tatami and a chest in the corner. There are two figures kitty cornered from where Haru is, both of them huddled on the floor in heavy-looking kimonos.

Akito has his back to Haru while Yuki is facing him, but he’s not seeing him. He’s staring straight ahead with vacant eyes, the skin around them puffy and swollen. Akito is draped over him, face tucked between Yuki’s cheek and shoulder, saying something into his ear that Haru still can’t make out. He leans forward more, straining his ears.

“ _Haru!_ ” 

Haru jumps and whips around. Rin has crept closer to him, crouched by the adjacent wall.

“I just saw someone. Seriously, let’s bail,” she says, standing carefully and checking around the corner of the building. 

Haru lets out a frustrated grunt, takes one last look at Yuki, and follows her around the corner.

Rin darts through the estate, Haru lagging behind. By the time he catches up to her they’re properly outside, the Tokyo sidewalk feeling worlds away from the Sohmas.

“Yuki was in there,” Haru says, still panting.

“So?” Rin crosses her arms. 

“So, I’m worried!”

“Why are you so obsessed with him?” Rin asks, voice harsh.

“I’m not obsessed with him,” Haru huffs. “It’s called being friends.”

“Yeah, right.” Rin rolls her eyes, annoyingly unaffected by the run. “He’s all you ever talk about anymore. It’s like you have a crush on him or something.”

Heat springs to Haru’s cheeks, and without thinking, blurts, “So what if I do?”

Rin balks at that, blinking a few times. “Seriously?”

“Whatever, Rin.” Haru crosses his own arms in front of his chest, turning away from her. 

“He’s a boy,” she points out. “He’s the _rat_.”

“It’s not like I can control it,” Haru snaps.

“Haru.” Rin inserts herself into his space so that they’re chest-to-chest, forcing him to look at her. “Whatever Akito is doing with him, you don’t want to get involved. You’ll just end up hurt.”

“But _he’s_ hurting _now_.”

Rin grabs Haru’s face and gives him a small shake. Her hands are small and soft against his cheeks and it’s making him even more embarrassed. “You care too much, you know that?”

“That sort of thing is normally a compliment,” Haru mutters. 

Rin smiles, huffing a laugh through her nose. She wraps her hands around Haru’s neck and his arms automatically circle her waist. She squeezes him for a few seconds before letting go. 

“Let’s get out of here,” she says, black eyes glittering in the lamplight. Haru nods and lets her lead him away.

  
  
  


Haru goes back the next night.

And the next. 

And the next.

After five nights, the room is empty. 

He sneaks through the estate, coming up to Yuki’s house from the back after nearly half an hour. Haru’s house is pretty big, but Yuki’s is even bigger. It’s more western, too, with large, rectangular glass windows where bamboo and paper would normally be. Haru searches the yard, sticking close to the house, until he has a handful of small-ish rocks.

“Hey.” Haru throws a rock, then another. It pings against the window pane of Yuki’s bedroom before ricocheting back into the yard. “ _Hey._ Yuki.”

Haru can see shadows moving on Yuki’s bedroom wall before his window slides open and Yuki pokes his head out.

“Let me in.”

Yuki visibly sighs, points to the door at the base of the house, and shuts the window. 

He’s already at the basement door by the time Haru gets around to it, and they carefully pick their way through old cardboard boxes and formal kimonos wrapped in garment bags. Haru toes his shoes off and they pad up the staircase to Yuki’s room. 

“Are your parents home?” Haru asks, and Yuki shakes his head.

“It’s my mom’s birthday,” he explains.

“I missed you at the dojo today,” Haru says. Yuki just shrugs and plops onto his bed. Haru runs a socked toe along the line of the hardwood floor, suddenly fidgety. “Are you feeling okay?”

Yuki quirks an eyebrow and nods.

“You haven’t been talking much lately.”

Yuki shrugs again. “Haven’t felt like it.”

“Yuki.” Haru stuffs his hands in his pockets, suddenly nervous. “I saw you. In that room.”

Color rises to Yuki’s cheeks and his jaw locks with an audible click. “So?”

“Is Akito not letting you come home?”

“I’m home now, aren’t I?”

“What about karate?” Haru can feel himself starting to get mad. “You’ve only been twice this week.”

“I know.”

“Has…has it always been like this?”

Yuki drops his face into his lap like a doll who’s had its strings cut. Haru can hear him sniffling a little, most of the sound absorbed by the fabric of his pants. Haru’s stomach drops as he sits on the bed next to Yuki, carefully placing a hand on his back. 

“I’m sorry,” he says. “I didn’t mean to make you cry.”

“Why are you here?” Yuki asks, voice shaking. 

“I just want to help you,” Haru answers. “Maybe you could…I dunno. Run away or something.”

“No.” Yuki sits up, wiping his face with his palm. “I’ve tried that already. It won’t work.”

Haru reels back. “Wait, what? When?”

“A few years ago.” Yuki scoots away from Haru a little, shaking Haru’s hand off of him. “I transformed. They found me.”

“Oh.” Haru’s brain is working overtime. He’s officially in way over his head, and Yuki seems too resigned to be of any help. “What about your brother?”

Yuki laughs bitterly. “What about him?”

“He lives on the outside now, right? Can’t you ask him for help?”

“Haru, just stop.” Yuki turns to Haru, looking him in the eye for the first time all night. “He doesn’t care about me. No one does. This is what my life is, just accept it.”

“Why?” Haru’s on his feet, his body propelling itself up without his mind’s permission. “Why do I have to accept it?”

“Because I’m the rat, that’s why!” Yuki’s standing now too, face red and voice wobbly. “It’s my role! You wouldn’t understand, you’re just—”

“The dumb, subservient ox?”

Yuki pinches his nose between his thumb and forefinger, grimacing. “That’s not what I meant.”

“Yes, it is,” Haru hisses. His vision is starting to blur at the edges and he can feel himself starting to lose control. He takes a huge gulp of air in and lets it back out, desperately trying to hold on. _Don’t go Black on Yuki. Don’t go Black on Yuki. Don’t go Black on Yuki._

“Look,” he says after a few moments. “I just don’t want you to be alone.”

Yuki blinks. “What?”

“I can’t do anything to help. And Akito is…Akito.” Haru swallows, scuffing his toe on the floor again. “I just don’t want you to have to deal with this alone.”

“Oh.” Yuki’s hands are clutching his elbows, his face turned towards the floor. “Um. Okay.”

“Are you going back there tomorrow?”

Yuki nods.

“What about the dojo?”

“He doesn’t like how much I’ve been out,” Yuki sighs. “I think he’s going to make me quit.” 

“I’m sorry.”

That seems to trigger a fresh wave of tears from Yuki and he hiccups, hiding his face in one of his hands. 

Haru doesn’t know what to do. Dealing with Akito has always been…complicated. Haru has had to help Rin clean up a number of injuries from her rare visits to him, but even those are short-lived events. Now he feels like he’s flailing upwards while Yuki falls apart in front of him.

“Yuki.” Haru grabs Yuki’s upper arms, jostling him a bit. “I’m gonna come visit you. Okay?”

Yuki doesn’t say anything. 

“You have to promise you won’t give up.” Haru’s whispering now, his face inches from Yuki’s. Yuki is still stubbornly looking at the floor, tears slowly dripping off his chin. “Do it. Please.”

Yuki’s bloodshot eyes meet Haru’s, and he nods. 

Tension that he didn’t know he was holding leaves Haru’s body and he pulls Yuki towards him without really thinking, arms slipping around his thin shoulders and face pressing into his hair. Yuki tenses for a second before relaxing, and Haru can feel his small hands clench against his jacket. 

Haru loses track of time. He thinks they stay like that for a while, because when they separate, his feet are asleep and Yuki’s face is dry. Afterwards, he watches Yuki curl up in bed, TV on as a pretense, until he’s sure he’s asleep. 

He lets himself out the same way he came in.

  
  
  


The less of Yuki that Haru sees, the more agitated he gets. 

It’s been two weeks since their conversation and Yuki’s only been to one karate lesson. Haru walked him to the main house afterwards, but every topic of conversation that Haru brought up was met with silence. Anxiety sits in Haru’s stomach, heavy and twisted and exhausting. He tries not to think about it, but when he closes his eyes at night all he sees is Akito and Yuki huddled in that dark room. 

He wants to take Yuki and run. He wants to hold his hand and run his fingers through his hair. He wants to stop feeling like this—helpless, obsessed, self-conscious.

He can’t talk to the others about it. Kyo is a definite no—he’d probably revel in Yuki’s suffering. He flips through the other zodiacs. To be honest, he doesn’t know most of them all that well. He’s friends with Kagura, but only casually, and she always sides with Kyo anyway. He lists Momiji as a maybe; he’s always been a little defiant towards Akito, leading to punishment more than once. He would probably side with Yuki, but Momiji barely knows the other boy. Besides that, Haru thinks he’s a little immature.

He’s too embarrassed to talk to Rin about Yuki now. He doesn’t like how easily she was able to read him. _That_ was an unspoken secret with himself, and now…it’s not. On the other hand, she already knows everything, so he won’t have to explain. They’ve been friends for a long time, and he thinks they trust each other.

He chalks her down as a conditional yes.

Haru sighs, tossing over in bed. For a fleeting moment he’s thankful his hair is already white, because if it wasn’t, he’d be the first ever middle schooler to go gray from stress. He slips out of bed and pads silently through the house, making sure to be extra careful as he shuts the front door behind him. 

A few stubborn cicadas leftover from summer cry out from the bushes and he sees a cat or two dart ahead of him on the path, but otherwise the night air of the Sohma estate is quiet. Haru walks, trying not to think of anything, taking in the triangular silhouettes of tiled roofs against the light-polluted sky and the soft sound of his own sneakers scuffing on the pavement.

He didn’t mean to go to the room, but when he looks up, he’s there. 

It’s quiet and dark. He creeps closer, relieved to find that Yuki is alone, sitting in the corner with his head resting on his knees, thick kimono draped over his skinny shoulders. Haru takes one more cautionary look around before climbing in through the window. 

Yuki doesn’t move. For a second Haru wonders if Yuki had fallen asleep curled up like that, but as he sits down next to him, he notices that Yuki’s eyes are focused on him. The ever-present bags under his eyes look even worse in the darkness of the room and he looks disinterested, distant. 

“Hi,” Haru says, voice quiet. 

Yuki doesn’t say anything. 

“I couldn’t sleep,” he adds. “What about you?”

Yuki hides his eyes in his arms. 

“Um.” Haru squirms, remembering all the stilted and one-sided conversations that have been growing more and more frequent between them. It seems like the most Yuki has spoken to him lately have been when they’re fighting. He suppresses a sigh, fighting the urge to get annoyed. If he were in Yuki’s shoes he probably wouldn’t have much to say, either. “I got the new Final Fantasy this week. I just started playing it today.”

“Yeah?” Yuki says quietly, face still buried in his arms but his eyes focused on Haru again.

“Uh-huh.” Haru plucks at his shoelace. He didn’t take off his shoes before coming in; he feels sacrilegious. This whole scenario feels sacrilegious. “Can I tell you about it?”

Yuki looks at him carefully, like he’s sizing him up, before nodding.

Haru stays for an hour or so. It’s late, though, and he can feel himself starting to get weighed down with sleep. If he falls asleep here there’s no telling what Akito will do, so he eventually drags himself off the floor and says goodbye.

Haru goes to the room as often as he can. Akito is usually away in the late afternoon, dealing with whatever it is the head of the family deals with, so Haru makes a habit of going then. He finds a door that only the servants use and slips in that way, leaving his shoes under the engawa every time. He tells Yuki about his day, his classes, the TV shows he’s watching. Yuki talks back, sometimes. He’s still going to school during the day, which brings Haru more relief than he can articulate. Sometimes they sit and do their homework together. After a while, it starts to become normal, routine, like Haru had always had a friend confined to a room away from everyone else. It starts to feel fine. 

Haru is taking his shoes off outside the room on a particularly cold day when he gets caught. 

“If I could find you, who’s to say Akito can’t?” 

Rin’s voice startles Haru so badly that he falls over, knee banging unpleasantly against the edge of the engawa.

“Ow-w-w-w,” Haru groans, pulling his knee up to his chest. 

“Be quiet, someone might hear you,” Rin hisses.

“Says the person who snuck up on me,” Haru deadpans.

Rin crouches down in front of Haru, getting up in his face the way she does when she’s trying to be intense. “What the hell are you doing?”

“None of your business,” Haru grumbles.

“Are you seriously sneaking in to visit him?”

“If you knew, why’d you ask?”

Rin scoffs. “If you get caught, you’re gonna be in deep shit.”

“It’s fine. Akito’s never here around this time.”

“How do you know when to leave?”

“I guess,” Haru shrugs. 

Rin runs a palm down her face, exasperated. “You’re not going to stop, are you?”

“Why should I?” Haru snaps.

“Literally so many reasons.” Rin sighs, eyebrows furrowed. “Let me come in with you.”

“What?” Haru is taken aback. Rin has made it very clear that she doesn’t care about Yuki, and it doesn’t seem like she approves of Haru sneaking into his room. “Why would you want to do that?”

“Because I don’t want you to get hurt.” Rin’s voice is hard and resolute, her eyes serious. “I’ll be look-out.” 

“But…why?” Haru asks, still shocked. It’s not that he doesn’t believe Rin about her concerns for him, but she’s not one to stick her neck out for others. 

“Because…because you showed kindness to me when no one else did, and you did it because it was what you thought was right,” Rin says carefully. “And if you feel like you need to do that for Yuki, then…you should.”

“Oh.” Haru swallows. Their friendship wasn’t as fast or intense as his and Yuki’s, but they’ve been friends for years. He had been embarrassed before, but now he’s starting to feel glad that they know each other so well. That he can trust her. “Thanks, Rin.”

“Don’t mention it.” Rin stands. “Like, seriously. Don’t mention it.”

Haru smirks, standing as well. “Got it. Ready?”

Rin slips off her shoes, tucks them under the engawa, and slides open the door.

  
  
  


Haru’s shaking. He’s shaking and there’s dirt under his fingernails and dried blood clinging to his nostrils. Gravel digs into his ass through his gakuran pants and the cold is making snot trickle out of his nose. His mouth tastes salty and he can’t untwist his face from the frown it’s in. He doesn’t budge when the metal gate behind him clangs open and shut and ratty Converse fills his eyeline.

“Hey, dipshit,” Kyo says. “What are you doing?”

“Waiting for my mom to pick me up,” Haru grumbles. 

“What the hell happened back there?”

“None of your business,” Haru snaps, eyes still trained at the dead leaves on the pavement in front of him. Kyo leans over a bit, his red eyes studying Haru’s face.

“Are you still Black?” He asks. 

“No. I’m just pissed.”

Kyo huffs and sits down next to him. “Do you wanna talk about it?”

“No,” Haru says. “You saw what happened.”

“Well, yeah, I _saw_ you beating the shit out of Sato, but I don’t know why.”

“He was being an asshole.”

“He’s always an asshole.” Kyo picks up a leaf and breaks it up in his hand, crunching the dead parts between his fingers. “What did he say?” 

Truthfully, Haru doesn’t remember. It’s like that sometimes, when he turns Black. By the time he’s reached his boiling point, the fight has already become a blur. He remembers Sato’s douchey sneer, flashes of the schoolyard pavement, pain exploding behind his eyes, Sato’s wrist hanging at a funny angle as two teachers pull them apart. 

Haru shrugs. “Dunno.” 

“You’ve gotta work on your anger management, man.”

“Seems like the pot calling the kettle black,” Haru muses. “Ha-ha. Get it?”

“You forgot, didn’t you?” Kyo asks. “At least I can remember my fights.”

Heat flashes down Haru’s spine, exploding in his chest and making his fingers curl. He stands abruptly; Kyo starts. “What are you doing?”

“I’m going home.”

“Isn’t your mom coming to pick you up?”

“I’ll walk,” Haru says. “Tell her I went.”

“You’re crazy if you think I’m staying out here to wait for your mom,” Kyo calls, but Haru’s already walking away. He hears Kyo grumble something else, more leaves crunching, and the school gate clanging shut. 

It’s not an excessively long walk back to the Sohma estate, but it’s not as short as the public school. Haru doesn’t mind; it’s cold, but it’s helping clear his head. He doesn’t want to think about what happened. He hopes he doesn’t get expelled. He hopes he didn’t fuck up Sato’s wrist too bad. 

He _was_ doing better, exploding less frequently and controlling his anger the best he could, but lately it feels like he’s sliding backwards. He’s gone Black at the dojo more than once this term, but Kazuma always manages to calm him down before he does anything too drastic. He’d given Kyo a black eye for talking shit about how Yuki doesn’t speak anymore right before New Year’s too, which he honestly doesn’t feel that bad about. 

The image of Sato’s pale, twisted wrist against the pavement flashes through his mind again. He’s never seriously hurt someone before. 

He’s less than halfway home when he sees a familiar flash of gray hair and an upward-sloped nose poking out above a scarf. He’s facing away from Haru, hands stuffed in his coat pockets, watching two women and their toddlers make their way across a crosswalk. 

“Hey,” Haru says, sidling up next to Yuki. Yuki’s eyes flick to Haru and he nods slightly. “What are you doing?”

Yuki shrugs a little.

“Skipping?”

Yuki nods.

“Me too.”

Yuki’s brows furrow and he taps a finger to his own nose, then points at Haru’s.

“Yeah, so I got in a fight.”

The edges of Yuki’s mouth turn down and he puts his hands out, palm up: _why?_

“Some guy was being a douche. Saying shit to me during break.”

Yuki raises his eyebrows and spreads his hands.

“It’s a little fuzzy. I don’t really remember.”

Yuki’s scowl deepens and he scuffs his foot on the pavement, moving a little to face Haru more fully.

“You’re pretty pushy for a guy who doesn’t talk,” Haru snaps. Yuki makes a little _hmph_ noise and turns away from him, nose stuck up in the air. 

Haru sighs. He doesn’t like getting mad at Yuki. He knows he’s not doing it on purpose, not really, but the longer he’s silent, the more agitated Haru feels. He relaxes his shoulders and leans his arm against Yuki’s, his own silent apology, and Yuki leans back, a silent forgiveness. Haru leans his cheek onto the top of Yuki’s head—he won’t be able to do it for much longer, not with the rate Yuki’s been growing. This is okay now, he thinks. 

There’s a tap on the back of Haru’s hand and Yuki’s reaching inside of his coat pocket, pulling out something small—a stick of gum? No—

“Is that a cigarette?”

Yuki nods, looking at Haru meaningfully. He jerks his head to the left and pulls away from Haru, starting down the sidewalk. Haru follows. 

They end up at a park that Haru has never been to but has walked past a million times. They find a rock wall and pull themselves up to sit on top, looking out at the small grassy area from above. Yuki pulls out the cigarette again, along with a lighter. He tries flicking it a few times, but he can’t even manage to get a spark.

“Give it,” Haru says, and Yuki drops the lighter in his hand. Haru flicks it and Yuki silently watches the little flame dance before Haru lets it go. Yuki brings the cigarette to his lips and looks at Haru expectantly. 

Haru raises an eyebrow, suddenly apprehensive. It’s a little thrilling, but Yuki’s past comments about his asthma are poking holes in his excitement. “You sure?” 

Yuki just looks at him, challenging, cigarette still poised between his pale fingers. 

So Haru lights it for him. 

Yuki’s coughing before he’s even done blowing all the smoke out. He doubles over, face flushing red. It’s a dry, hacking cough, like his lungs are trying to escape from his body through his mouth.

“Yuki, are you okay?” Regret floods Haru immediately. He doesn’t know why he did that. He shouldn’t have done it.

Yuki nods weakly.

“Are you sure?”

Yuki nods again, struggling to regain control of his breathing.

“Did it…feel good?”

Yuki laughs under his breath and flips a palm—so-so—before extending the still-lit cigarette to Haru. Haru plucks it from his fingers, examining it.

“I’m having second thoughts,” Haru mutters. Yuki punches him in the side of the leg, turning his face to look up at him, smiling a little through small wheezes. Haru can’t help but smile back. “This is peer pressure, you know.”

He brings the cigarette to his lips and takes a cautious drag. Smoke fills his lungs and he’s coughing before he can process anything else. He feels like he’s floating away, uncomfortably lightheaded and disconnected from his body.

“This is terrible,” Haru coughs out, and Yuki giggles breathlessly. He snatches the cigarette back from Haru’s fingers and takes another drag. “Whoa, wait, is that a good idea?”

Yuki’s already coughing again before Haru can get his sentence out. He gasps in a few belabored breaths before bringing his shaking hand back up to his mouth.

“What the hell are you doing?” Haru leaps up off the wall and takes the cigarette out from between Yuki’s fingers, but more smoke is leaving Yuki’s mouth by the time he grabs it. 

Harsh, painful-sounding coughs rack Yuki’s body, and all Haru can do is hold Yuki’s shaking shoulders, keeping him stabilized where he’s sitting. Tears stream down his face and, with one last hacking cough, Yuki vomits between his legs and transforms. 

Haru just barely manages to catch him. Yuki is tiny in Haru’s palm. He’s still breathing, albeit fast (not that Haru knows how fast a rat normally breaths), but Haru can’t tell if he’s conscious or not. He whips around, checking his surroundings, but there’s no one close enough to have witnessed what just happened. 

Holding Yuki close to his chest, he grabs Yuki’s clothes, stuffs them into his bag, and sprints the entire way to the estate.

He barges through the door of Hatori’s place, praying that he’s not in class. He nearly passes out with relief when he bangs the sliding door of the office open and sees him, alone, typing on his computer. Haru sags against the doorframe, cupping Yuki against his heaving chest with both hands.

“Hatsuharu?” Hatori stands, eyes wide. “What’s wrong? What happened?”

Haru shakily extends his palms, showing him the tiny rat inside. Hatori presses a button on the electric kettle on his desk before approaching Haru, arms extended. “Give him to me.”

Haru tips Yuki into Hatori’s big hands. The adrenaline is starting to wear off and he steps inside the office, sliding down the wall to sit on the floor, panting. He watches Hatori set Yuki down on the examination table and lean in close, blocking Haru’s view.

“Did anyone see?” Hatori asks.

“No. I checked,” Haru answers, still winded.

“How did this happen?”

Haru scowls, folding his arms over his chest. He’s not sure he trusts Hatori. He’s a zodiac, sure, but he’s close to Akito, and that makes Haru uneasy. 

The electric kettle clicks off and Hatori sighs. “Haru, there are a few bottles in pouches in the bottom drawer of my desk. Can you fill one with water from the kettle?”

Haru nods, pulling himself off the floor to do as he’s told. Silence is probably for the best at the moment, so he just concentrates on getting all the water into the bottle before handing it to Hatori. 

“Hatsuharu.” Hatori’s not looking at him, focused instead on positioning the hot water bottle against Yuki’s front. “You need to tell me what happened so I can help him.”

Haru shifts uncomfortably. He watches Yuki’s tiny body curl around the pack, seemingly unconsciously. He lets out a harsh breath, dropping his face into his hand. “Will you tell anyone?”

“If it means you’ll tell me, then no,” Hatori assures him.

“Even Akito?”

“If no one saw then this doesn’t concern him.”

Haru sighs again, anxiety and worry rolling through him. “We were smoking a cigarette. And then he started coughing really badly and then he threw up and transformed.” 

“I see.” Hatori takes his glasses off, pinching the bridge of his nose. “How long ago did he transform?”

“I dunno,” Haru shrugs. “He transformed and I ran straight here. Ten minutes?”

“Did you get his clothes?” Haru nods. “Why don’t you bring them here? He’ll probably change back soon.”

Haru nods, grabbing Yuki’s bag and setting his clothes next to him on the examination table. They’re crumpled and a little dirty, but it’s better than nothing. 

Yuki transforms, his hand clutched around the hot water bottle, pressing it to his chest. To Haru’s relief, his breathing sounds much better than before. He shakily pushes himself to sit up.

“Why don’t you put some clothes on,” Hatori says. “And then we need to talk.”

Yuki and Haru exchange glances. Haru mouths _sorry_ at him, but Yuki just shakes his head. He puts his clothes back on silently, leaning against the exam table the whole time, and then drags himself back onto it. 

“Yuki, why would you do that?” Hatori sits heavily on the stool near the table. “You know you have asthma. Were you _trying_ to trigger it?”

Yuki doesn’t say anything, just looks steadily at Hatori. Hatori’s eyes narrow.

“Were you? Were you trying to hurt yourself?”

Haru watches Yuki’s jaw clench, and he can tell he’s trying to hold back tears. 

“If this is a cry for help, this isn’t the way to go about it,” Hatori says forcefully, leaning forward. Yuki curls his legs up against his chest, resting his forehead on his knees. “And neither is not talking. _Yuki._ "

“What else is he supposed to do?” Haru snaps, unable to hold it in anymore. “It’s not like you’re actually gonna help him!”

“Excuse me?” Hatori’s expression twists in shock, head whipping around to face Haru. 

Rage engulfs Haru, sudden and hot and pulsing. Red tinges his vision and heat explodes under his cheeks. 

“You’re not gonna help him! He’s acting like this because Akito’s been keeping him locked in a room, and you’re not gonna do jack shit about it!” Haru yells, shaking hands gesticulating wildly. “You’re just gonna tell him that’s just how things are and to suck it up like you adults always do!”

“Hatsuharu,” Hatori says, standing up slowly. “I need you to calm down.”

“No!” Haru whips around, shoving a bunch of books and picture frames off the nearest surface. They crash to the ground loudly and Haru kicks over the table they were on just to add to the noise. “Fuck you! Fuck all of you!”

“Haru, please—”

“Shut up! Just be quiet,” Haru gasps, dragging his palms down his face, not sure if he’s trying to ground himself or hurt himself. “I can’t anymore. I’m leaving.”

Hatori calls after him but Haru’s already gone, his shoes barely back on his feet before they’re slapping the pavement.

Haru runs. He runs and runs and he thinks he might be crying but he keeps running. By the time he manages to get a grip on himself, he’s standing in his own backyard. 

He crashes through the back door of his house and darts up the stairs. He can hear his mother calling his name from the kitchen but he slams his bedroom door shut and locks it, crying, “Leave me alone!” Before diving into bed. 

He’s shaking so bad, and his breaths are coming in gasps and hiccups. He suddenly feels wiped, physically and emotionally. He hasn’t had two outbursts in a day since elementary school. 

It’s just…he’s mad. He’s so, so mad. Yuki doesn’t deserve this, Kyo doesn’t deserve this, _he_ doesn’t deserve this. He sobs as his anger mutates into nausea, reminding him that he’s not allowed to think this. He punches his mattress and screams into his pillow. He’s afraid he might throw up. 

He remembers Kazuma telling him and Kyo how to calm down, once, years ago. Kazuma’s very into breathing exercises, and even though Haru thinks it feels silly, they do work when he remembers them. He pushes himself up in bed, trying to regulate his breathing. He sits there and breaths until he stops shaking and the temperature of the room comes back down to normal.

There’s a headache starting to grow behind his temples and his throat feels dry and scratchy. He presses his feet against the floor, feeling the hardwood through his socks. He feels bad that he betrayed Yuki’s trust and told Hatori his secret, but there’s nothing he can really do about it now. 

He wonders if things are going to change.

Probably not. Better to not think that way.

Haru sighs, burying his fingers in his hair. He’s tired. He’s hungry, too, but his mother is waiting downstairs, probably ready to rip him a new one for getting into a fight at school. Instead, he chugs the water bottle he keeps in his school bag, chucks his gakuran and undershirt off without getting off his bed, and passes out.

  
  
  


Haru gets suspended for a week.

His parents are _pissed_. Like, way more pissed than they usually are when Haru gets in a fight. Haru figures it’s because he actually did break Sato’s wrist. They force him to call his house and Haru gives the blandest, most deadpan apology he can muster. He can feel his mother seething from the kitchen table and his father walks out. They take away his video games _and_ he’s not allowed out other than school. Not wanting to incite more of his parents’ rage, he decides to stop sneaking out to see Yuki for the time being, so he hasn’t seen him since the incident. Haru spends the whole week making necklaces in his room. 

“This is so sweet,” Kagura smiles as Haru hands her one. She clasps it around her neck, looking down at it and laughing a little. “It doesn’t really go with my gi.”

Kyo scoffs next to her, rolling his eyes. Haru offers Kyo the necklace he’d brought for him.

“You shouldn’t have,” Kyo says. “Really. You shouldn’t have.”

“But I made this one just for you, Kyon,” Haru replies.

“Just take it, dummy,” Kagura scolds.

“Why should I?” Kyo snaps.

“Because it would look good on you!”

“Yeah, well, I don’t want it.”

“You just can’t take it when people are nice to you,” Kagura pouts.

“Whatever,” Kyo grumbles, snatching the necklace out of Haru’s hand.

“Oh, Haru,” Kagura says suddenly. “I just remembered. You’re friends with Yun-chan, right?”

“Yeah.” Haru frowns a little.

“I heard some of the staff talking about him the other day. Did something happen outside?”

Haru shrugs. “He transformed.”

“Idiot,” Kyo mutters. 

“It’s not his fault!” Kagura says, punching Kyo in the shoulder, hard. Kyo winces, rubbing at the spot. Kagura turns back to Haru. “Is he okay? Did anyone see?”

“No one saw,” Haru assures her. “And yeah, he’s fine. I brought him to Hatori.”

“Hmm, wow,” Kagura muses. “So much drama lately.”

“Why, what else happened?” Kyo asks.

“Oh, now you’re interested?” Haru raises an eyebrow at Kyo.

Kyo scowls, scuffing a foot in the grass in frustration. “Fine! Don’t tell me then, like I care!”

“I wanna know,” Haru says.

Kagura shares a smirk with Haru before saying, “Shigure’s moving to the outside.”

“And how is that drama?” Kyo asks. “Don’t Ayame and Ritsu already live outside?”

“Well, he wasn’t supposed to move. He’s leaving, like, this week.”

“Seems pretty fast,” Haru says.

“That’s what my mom was saying,” Kagura agrees. “I wonder what happened.”

“Maybe he just wants to get out of this freakin’ place,” Kyo grumbles. “It’s not like he’d ever tell us, anyway. That guy’s so sketchy.”

“You’re no better,” Haru teases.

Kyo’s face goes red and he crosses his arms over his chest defensively. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You’re so easy to wind up, Kyo-chan,” Kagura giggles. 

“Would you two go home already?” Kyo shouts. “My yard isn’t town square, you know!”

“But it is the dojo,” Haru points out. 

“Yeah, and I live here and you don’t, so leave!” Kyo growls, stomping off towards his house behind the dojo. Kagura giggles before saying goodbye to Haru, heading back towards the changing room.

Haru is technically still grounded, but his parents let him go to karate now that his suspension is up. _What’s an extra hour after class?_ He thinks, but his feet are taking him to the main estate before he can even complete the thought. 

Haru approaches the window, carefully as always, and catches a flash of black hair against a white kimono inside. He ducks, spine flat against the wall. _Akito_. 

He waits for his heart rate to return back to normal before risking another peek. They’re both sitting in silence, Akito reading a book with the end of a chewed-up pen between his teeth, Yuki ignoring his schoolwork on the floor in front of him in favor of staring into space. The scene strikes Haru as off-putting; it’s not often he sees Akito so calm, but he figures even Akito can’t act insane _all_ the time.

Haru checks his phone. It’s a little earlier than when he usually comes, so he decides to wait it out. Sure enough, after about twenty minutes or so, Akito stands up, says goodbye to Yuki, and leaves. Haru waits another ten minutes before taking his shoes off and slipping inside. 

“Hi,” Haru says quietly as he softly closes the door behind him. Yuki’s eyes light up when he sees him and something warm squeezes Haru’s insides. “Are you okay?”

Yuki nods, eyebrows twisted up in concern. Haru sits down next to him, stretching his feet out in front of him to relieve his cramped-up legs. Yuki tugs on Haru’s jacket, eyes worried.

“I’m fine,” Haru says. “I got suspended for a week. And I got grounded. But I’m back now.”

Yuki nods slowly, relief flooding his face.

“Did you get in trouble?” 

Yuki shakes his head. 

“Yuki,” Haru sighs. “I’m sorry I told Hatori. You told me not to tell anyone and I did it anyway.”

Yuki breaths out through his nose, closing his eyes for a moment. He waves his hand, looking at Haru meaningfully. Haru studies Yuki’s face for any more clues as to what he means, but he’s being too ambiguous. “I’m sorry. I don’t understand.”

Yuki pouts for a second before grabbing the homework in front of him, scribbling something in the margins before showing it to Haru.

_He already knew._

Haru clenches his jaw against the rush of emotions running through him: anger, desperation, sadness, frustration. Of course he did.

“Right,” Haru gets out through gritted teeth. Yuki tugs his sleeve again, expression resigned. “I know. He can’t go against Akito.”

Yuki nods again, looking away from Haru. Haru watches his eyes begin to unfocus, going back to that same expression he had when he was sitting next to Akito before. 

“Hey,” Haru says suddenly, pulling his school bag onto his lap. “I brought you something.”

Haru pulls out the bracelet he’d made for Yuki. He thought a necklace would be too much for him, so he decided to go for something more subtle.

Yuki smiles, taking it out of Haru’s hand and running it against his fingers, clutching it. He leans his head on Haru’s shoulder for a moment before taking Haru’s hand and pressing the bracelet back into his palm.

“What, you don’t like it?” Haru laughs. 

Yuki shakes his head. He taps their joined hands with his free one then points at the door.

“Oh, right. They’ll know I was here.” Yuki nods. “I’ll keep it for you, then.”

Yuki smiles. 

Haru is thankful he’s good at keeping his face impassive, because inside he’s going wild. Yuki’s hand is still enveloped in his own and their shoulders are just barely touching. If Haru’s being honest, Yuki looks pretty bad, with heavy bags under his eyes and hair that looks like it hasn’t been washed in too long. He still wants to press their lips together regardless, to trail his fingers down his delicate cheekbones and wrap his arms around his thin waist. 

Instead, he turns his face away, gazing out the open shoji screens and into the yard. The thought that this and school are the only things Yuki sees make Haru’s stomach clench and he has to take a calming breath in, out. He slowly, carefully leans his head on top of Yuki’s and Yuki lets him, resting his own head on Haru’s shoulder again. They stay like that, watching the horizon go orange and red over the estate, until the sky is dark.

  
  
  


Spring sneaks up on Haru in the form of the flu. Actually, it’s going around the compound—Kyo misses two weeks of school and is deathly pale when Haru visits him, curled up pathetically on his futon. Haru regrets going; their conversation dies almost instantly, Kyo’s constant bad mood exacerbated by his fever, and Haru wakes up three days later with the same symptoms. Rin had texted him saying she heard even Akito got it. 

He’s worried about Yuki. He’s starting to get sick of worrying about him, actually. It’s like a constant itch, one that’s impossible to get to. He desperately wants to check in on Yuki, but he’s too sick to leave the house. Yuki has a phone, but there’s no service that deep into the estate, and Haru’s pretty sure he’s only allowed to use it to talk to his parents. 

Him and Rin go to the room once his symptoms abide. He’s a little afraid to go in, remembering how sick Yuki was in elementary school and Hatori’s comments about his health, so they poke their heads up from beneath the window instead of coming in through the door. 

Yuki is lying on his side on a futon, duvet kicked to the floor and kimono partially undone on the top. His cheeks are flushed a scary shade of scarlet and his half-open eyes are glazed over. His bangs are stuck to his forehead and even at this distance, Haru can tell his skin would be clammy if he touched him.

“Yikes,” Rin says. “He is _sick_.”

“Yeah,” Haru agrees. “Yuki. _Yuki_.”

Yuki’s eyes find the top of Haru and Rin’s heads at the base of the window and he gives a weak wave.

“Do you have the flu, too?” Haru asks. Yuki nods. “For how long?”

Yuki holds up three fingers.

“Three days?”

Yuki shakes his head no.

“Three _weeks?_ ”

Thumbs up. Leave it to Yuki to still be sarcastic without even saying anything. 

“Well…are you getting better?”

Yuki wiggles a hand. Suddenly he pushes himself up, squeezing his eyes shut as if the movement caused him pain. He points at the door and makes a shooing motion towards Haru and Rin. They barely manage to duck down before the door to his room slides open. 

“Yuki,” Hatori says. “Are you feeling any better?”

Relief crashes down over Haru and he can tell Rin feels the same, a hand pressed to her heaving chest. 

“Fuck,” she whispers. “Let’s get out of here.”

Haru couldn’t agree more. 

  
  
  


Yuki doesn’t seem to be improving. Haru still sees him a few times a week, but he’s even more lethargic and unresponsive than before. And not just that he’s not talking—Haru’s used to that by now, it’s been months since he’s last heard Yuki speak—but when he looks at Haru, it doesn’t seem like there’s anything behind his eyes. He fluctuates in and out of low fevers and he gets coughing fits that double him over. Haru has had to sit through them more than once, not being able to do anything as Yuki gasps for breath in front of him. 

“You haven’t been going to school, right?” Haru asks one night. Rain patters on the soft ground outside, casting shadows against the closed shoji screens. Yuki doesn’t respond, his eyes staring unfocused at the wall behind Haru’s head. Haru jostles him a bit. “Hey. How long has it been since you went to school?”

Yuki’s eyes meet Haru’s, focusing again. He holds up six fingers. 

“You’re gonna miss the whole term if you keep this up,” Haru says. Yuki just shrugs. “You don’t even care, do you?”

Yuki shrugs again.

More weeks go by. Haru can’t even tell if Yuki is still sick anymore. He’s languid as ever, slow-moving and unfocused, but the flush his fever gave him is gone, leaving sallow, alabaster skin in its wake. It seems like he’s stagnating. Visits are blurring together, differentiated only by the weather getting warmer. 

“Nothing’s changed,” he says to Rin, voice tight. He’s sitting on her bed with his head between his legs, fingers laced in his hair. “I don’t know what to do anymore.”

Rin grabs him by the shoulders and pulls him into her arms, squeezing him. She’s never been great with words, but she’s very physical. Haru’s always surprised when it happens; the rest of them seem to have trained themselves out of that particular habit. He relaxes in her arms, grateful for the comfort.

“I need to find a way to get him out,” he says.

“Yeah,” Rin responds. “You do.”

“Don’t tell me that’s concern for Yuki in your voice,” Haru says dryly.

“In your dreams,” she snorts. “I’m not getting involved.”

“I know.”

“But.”

Haru pulls back from her embrace, quirking his eyebrows. She sighs. 

“I found out where Shigure lives,” she says. “It’s a house in Nishi Nippori. A big one.”

Haru realizes what she’s suggesting and sits back, thinking. “Would he really take him in?”

“Maybe,” Rin shrugs. “But he’s the only option. It’s not like Ayame’s suddenly gonna grow a pair and stand up for him.”

“Thanks for the intel,” Haru says, smiling. Rin looks back at him steadily. “But why?”

“Because I’m tired of watching you suffer over him.” Her eyes are boring into his, dark and intense. 

“Rin,” Haru says, bringing a hand up to cup her face. He presses his lips softly against her cheek, feeling something like how he feels with Yuki, but also something entirely different. It’s warm and big and Haru doesn’t know what to do with it, so he just does this. “Thanks.”

“Jeez.” Rin spins away from him, but he already saw the blush that’s risen to her face. “You’re such a sap.”

“So you’ve said,” Haru says, grinning, leaning back on his hands. 

The information makes him feel light. He knows he shouldn’t put all his eggs in one basket, but at least he can do something. He has a mission. Maybe things can start to change.

  
  
  


Haru gets lost trying to find Shigure’s place. 

He’s pretty nonplussed about it, honestly. The scenery is nice, all bamboo and early summer greenery. He’s starting to really have to pee, though, and he’s been out searching for a few hours. The house looked to be quite a ways from the train station when he’d looked it up on the computer before leaving, but he doesn’t think it should be taking _this_ long.

After a while he finally comes to a clearing. There’s a small koi pond surrounded by manicured shrubbery in front of a large, old-looking house. Haru’s surprised at how big it actually is, but it is Sohma land, after all. They’re not the kind of family to half-ass anything, including owning property.

The house’s shoji screens are open and Haru can see Shigure sitting in front of a low table, writing with one hand and smoking with the other. The smell of cigarette smoke wafts towards Haru, sending a jolt through him and reminding him why he’s here. Haru braces himself and makes his way towards the house. Shigure looks up from his writing, watching him as he approaches.

“Hatsuharu!” Shigure grins, setting his pen down on the table. “What a pleasant surprise.”

“Is it?” Haru stops in front of the engawa. 

“Of course,” Shigure assures him. “Would you like to come in?”

Haru nods, toeing his shoes off and sitting at the table next to Shigure. 

“Nice place,” Haru says.

“Thank you.” Shigure takes a drag of his cigarette and Haru watches the smoke dissipate. “I can’t take much credit, though. It belongs to the family.”

“Must be nice, living all the way out here,” Haru notes, eyes roving over the garden and the cityscape in the distance.

“I suppose,” Shigure smiles. “It’s very peaceful. Good for my writing.”

“That’s cool.”

“Is there a reason you’re here, Haru?” Shigure asks, tapping his cigarette over the ashtray on the table. 

“I can’t visit my cousin for no reason?” Haru deadpans.

“You can, but something tells me you have a reason.” Shigure is still smiling at Haru, looking like he doesn’t have a care in the world, expression at total odds with his words. Haru can’t read him. It’s making him uncomfortable.

It’s not that Haru dislikes Shigure—on the contrary, he finds that Shigure is always able to make him laugh, and he’s always been kind to Haru—but he’s mysterious and distant in a way the others aren’t. Seemingly no one knows what he’s thinking, even the older zodiacs. It’s unsettling. 

“I need to ask you a favor.” Haru’s voice is calm, impassive, but his stomach is tying itself in knots. He has no idea if this is going to work. 

Shigure takes off his glasses. “Shoot.”

“I came to ask if Yuki could come live with you.”

Shigure blinks, eyebrows raising in surprise. He’s quiet, taking another drag of his cigarette and blowing the smoke out towards the yard. “That’s quite the favor.”

“I know.”

“And how were you planning on convincing me?”

“I wasn’t,” Haru says. “I was hoping you would find some kindness in your heart and do it without question.”

Shigure laughs, resting his head in his hand. “You’re so funny, Haru.”

“So is that a yes?”

“You could at least explain to me why, you know.”

Haru sighs. He knew he would have to tell Shigure everything, but that doesn’t mean he has to like it. 

He does it anyway.

Shigure sits quietly the whole time, listening and smoking. He finishes his first cigarette at one point and reaches for another one without hesitation. Haru vaguely wonders how many packs a day he goes through.

He’s quiet for a while after Haru is done, too. Haru can tell he’s thinking, his free hand fiddling with the pen he’d set down earlier, his eyebrows slightly drawn together.

“That’s pretty heavy,” he says finally, setting the pen down again.

“It is.”

Shigure snorts. “Never one to turn your face from the truth, huh?”

Haru hums in agreement. 

“I’ll do it,” Shigure says easily as he squashes the butt of his cigarette down into the ashtray. “Under one condition.”

“I’ll do anything,” Haru blurts. 

Shigure raises an eyebrow. “Anything?”

“Yes.” 

“You have to call me Sensei from now on.”

Haru frowns. “Is that it?”

“Did you want something else?”

“I mean…no.”

“Well, then I guess that settles it.” Shigure grins at Haru. “I’ll have to convince Akito, though. I assume Hatori already knows all this?”

“He does,” Haru confirms. 

“That will be helpful.”

“I…” Haru doesn’t know what to say. He’s overwhelmed. He was honestly anticipating the worst. “Thank you, Sensei.”

“You’re quite welcome,” Shigure says. “Truth be told, I have been getting a bit bored lately.”

“Is that why you agreed to this?” Haru asks. 

“Partially.” Shigure flicks his lighter, looking at the cigarette pack before pushing both away. “Does it really matter what my motivations are?”

“No, it doesn’t,” Haru says. 

“Good boy.” Shigure stands, stretching. “Sorry, I’ve been rude. Can I get you anything? Tea?”

Haru shakes his head. “I should probably head back. I’ve been out all day.”

“Don’t tell me you got lost on the way.”

“Of course I did.” Haru slides over to the engawa to put his shoes back on. “You live in the middle of nowhere.”

“Oh, it’s not that hard to find,” Shigure laughs, waving a hand. 

“Sensei,” Haru says, standing. “Thank you. Really.”

“Of course, Haru,” Shigure says. “You’re a good friend. Do you know that?”

“I’m just worried,” Haru mutters. 

“With good reason.” Shigure joins Haru on the engawa, resting a hand flat on top of his head. “He’ll be okay, you know.”

“I hope so.”

Shigure smiles at him. Haru feels something loosen in his chest. 

Hope isn’t a feeling Haru is very familiar with, but he decides he wants to keep feeling it. He smiles back.

  
  
  


Haru doesn’t mention his conversation with Shigure to Yuki. He’s afraid he’ll get his hopes up. He’s afraid he’ll retreat farther inside of himself and reject it. He’s afraid the whole thing is going to fall through and Shigure will go back on his word. He’s afraid Akito will get violent.

School is futile. He goes and sits in class but he doesn’t take notes, staring out the window instead. His mind is constantly racing, to the point where he’s having trouble sleeping. He visits Yuki every night that week, trying and failing to make conversation, mind preoccupied. Yuki is so checked out that Haru has to wonder if he even notices.

Days pass. Kyo bitches him out for getting distracted during karate. Haru goes Dark on him and punches him in the face. Again.

One week after their conversation, Haru goes to the room and finds it empty. When he goes to Yuki’s house, his bedroom window is dark. Something stirs in his stomach, nervous and big and tentatively hopeful. 

It’s the same when he checks in the morning. 

The something in his stomach burns. 

“You’re late,” Kyo grumbles, waiting for him at their usual spot outside the main gate. Momiji bounces next to him, characteristically bubbly despite the early morning. 

“I’m not going to school,” Haru says, brushing past him.

“Hey, hold on!” Kyo grabs Haru by the shoulder, spinning him around. “Where do you think you’re going?”

“You’re skipping?” Momiji asks. Haru nods. “Can I come?” 

“No, I think I should go by myself,” Haru says, patting Momiji’s hair. They’re in the same class, but sometimes Haru can’t help but treat him like he’s younger. He thinks Momiji must like it anyway, based on the curled-up smile he gives him. 

“Okay, what is up with you?” Kyo asks, folding his arms over his chest. The bruise on his cheek that Haru gave him has faded to a dull gray, making his face look dirty. 

“Wow, are you concerned for me, Kyo?” Haru teases, wagging a finger in Kyo’s face.

“You’ve been acting like a freak so, yeah, kinda!” Kyo snaps, shoving Haru’s hand away.

“Aw, that’s so sweet, Kyon!” Momiji exclaims. 

“As if,” Kyo scoffs. 

“I’ll let you know if there’s something wrong when I get back,” Haru says, moving away from Kyo and Momiji and towards the intersection. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Kyo shouts. Haru keeps walking. “Hey. Hey!”

“It means it’s none of your business, silly kitty,” Momiji giggles, waving at Haru. Haru waves back before crossing the street, the estate walls shrinking behind him.

Haru holds himself back from running for most of the trip, but once he gets to the bamboo forest, he can’t control it. He sprints the rest of the way. 

By the time he gets to the house he’s done for, red-faced and panting for breath. He rests his hands on his knees in front of the engawa, winded, while Shigure watches over the top of his newspaper. 

“Looking for someone?” He asks. Haru nods breathlessly. “Up the stairs, last door on the left.”

Haru nearly trips over his shoes in his haste to get them off, discarding his bag on the engawa with them before racing up the stairs. 

Yuki’s standing in front of a suitcase in a bright, empty room. His eyes are wide with shock at the sight of Haru, disheveled and sweaty and wearing his gakuran. With an uncomfortable jolt, Haru realizes how long it’s been since he’s seen Yuki standing up.

“Haru,” Yuki says. 

Haru rushes him, wrapping both arms around his waist and pulling him in. Yuki’s arms circle Haru’s neck and he hears him sniffle quietly next to his ear. 

“You’re moving in, right?” Haru gasps. Yuki nods, his hair tickling Haru’s cheek. Haru pulls back to look at him, but they stay wrapped around each other. “How do you feel?”

Yuki looks away from him sheepishly. “I don’t really know how to feel.”

“That’s okay,” Haru assures him. He rests his forehead against Yuki’s, overwhelmed. “It’s been so long since I’ve heard your voice.”

Color springs to Yuki’s cheeks and he scowls, breaking eye contact. 

“Yuki, it’s fine.” Haru’s practically whispering now. He brings a hand up to Yuki’s face, tracing his cheekbone. Yuki’s eyelashes flutter and he breathes out shakily. 

Haru can’t take it anymore. He closes the gap between them, gently pressing his lips against Yuki’s. 

Yuki doesn’t really do anything, but Haru feels a hand clench in his hair. Haru kisses him again. Yuki kisses back. 

Suddenly there’s space between them as Yuki pulls away and out from Haru’s arms. His face is beet red and one arm is crossed defensively across his middle, hand clutching his elbow. Haru tries not to look crestfallen. 

“Um,” Yuki says. “I’m not. I don’t. I…I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize,” Haru says quickly. He can feel a flush rising to his own cheeks, burning his ears. “I wasn’t really expecting…”

“Oh.” Yuki shifts his weight back and forth. “Okay.”

“I do love you, though,” Haru blurts out. Maybe someday he’ll grow a filter, he thinks, but not today.

Yuki’s face turns even redder and his shoulders bunch up to his ears. 

“Don’t say stuff like that,” Yuki gasps.

“Why not?” Haru asks. “It’s true.”

“It’s not,” Yuki insists. “You just think it is because—because of the curse.”

Haru raises his eyebrows. “We both know that’s not how that works.”

Yuki doesn’t say anything. He looks embarrassed and scared and a little sweaty, the sun fully glaring in through the window now. 

Haru doesn’t regret it. Somewhere in the back of his mind he knew Yuki didn’t reciprocate his feelings—how could he even have the capacity for that, with everything else going on? It still stings, though. Disappointment swirls with the steady feeling of relief that’s been coursing through him since he arrived at the house. It’s a weird feeling, but considering the past few months, it’s a good one in comparison. 

“Yuki,” Haru says. Yuki looks up at him shyly. “I’m happy for you.”

Yuki blinks. “Thanks.”

“I think this will be good,” Haru adds. 

“Yeah.” Yuki takes a breath and steps towards, taking Haru’s hand. “Haru.”

Haru looks at him.

“Thank you.”

“What for?” Haru asks. 

“For…keeping me company,” he says. “It helped.”

Haru smiles. “I’m glad.”

Yuki squeezes Haru’s hand before letting go, walking over to the window and sticking his head out slightly. 

“Do you need help unpacking?” Haru asks.

Yuki shakes his head. “The movers won’t be here until the afternoon with my furniture.”

“I’ll stay and help.”

“Don’t you have school?” Yuki asks.

“Don’t you?” Haru shoots back. 

Yuki scoffs a little. He sticks his head out the window more, tilting it up. 

“Do you think we can get to the roof from here?” Haru asks. Yuki shrugs. “Want to go find out?”

Haru helps Yuki make the jump from the sill to the roof before clambering up himself. The tiles are already hot, soaking up the early summer sun. 

They sit, looking out over the city from their vantage point. Yuki still looks tired, and anxiety stubbornly clings to the edges of Haru’s thoughts, but.

But. 

Hope is blooming inside of him. He lets it unfurl this time, unfamiliar and a little scary, but there nonetheless. 

Haru takes Yuki’s hand again. Yuki squeezes it, a small smile playing at his lips.

Maybe this time things will be different, he thinks. Maybe this time, things will change.

**Author's Note:**

> lol ya i massively condensed the timeline to make this fic work. trust me, it bothers me way more than it bothers you.  
> beta'd by my lovely amelia @calmdownthehawk on tumblr  
> thanks for reading! hmu on tumblr @ yukisohmasmokesweed  
> if you care to reblog: https://yukisohmasmokesweed.tumblr.com/post/624002067669925888/the-less-i-know-the-better-reconquer-fruits


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